CRaig's Lists
(This has nothing to do with that other, similarly-titled page that deals more with you hooking-up with strangers or selling your rotten, smelly futon. Thanks.)
The 11 Titles of Next Harry Potter Books.
1) Harry Potter and the Feisty Blue Colon
2) Harry Potter and the Passable Tranny Hustler
3) Harry Potter and 9 Big Boobs
4) Harry Potter and the Unreleased Cure Album
5) Harry Potter and the Unclaimed Specimen
6) Harry Potter and those Dang Blasted Mexicans
7) Harry Potter and his Blood Engorged Member
8) Harry Potter and the Attack of Merlin's Glutes
9) Harry Potter and the Fleedle-y Deet Dee of the Crimson Fleedle-y Dee
10) Harry Potter and the Very Moist Weekend
11) Harry Potter and the Flexible Janitor
1) Harry Potter and the Feisty Blue Colon
2) Harry Potter and the Passable Tranny Hustler
3) Harry Potter and 9 Big Boobs
4) Harry Potter and the Unreleased Cure Album
5) Harry Potter and the Unclaimed Specimen
6) Harry Potter and those Dang Blasted Mexicans
7) Harry Potter and his Blood Engorged Member
8) Harry Potter and the Attack of Merlin's Glutes
9) Harry Potter and the Fleedle-y Deet Dee of the Crimson Fleedle-y Dee
10) Harry Potter and the Very Moist Weekend
11) Harry Potter and the Flexible Janitor
How Would You Describe This Beer?
1) Sardonically cliched with two pinches of lemon zest and a heady daydream of weeping ponies.
2) Angular…like it lived in Fresno. You need this.
3) Have you ever had that dark, basil Lambic?....that was dry-hopped with bald eagle?...and aged for two years in a Franciscan monk? Seriously, you haven’t? Well, it’s just like that.
4) Like they used Lucille Balls’ pap smear during fermentation. You need this.
5) I don’t do Sours.
6) Mmmm. Chum-tastic!
7) Reminds me of my beard on “Beards Night Out”.
8) The nose detects a bit of Ron Jeremy.
9) I don’t do Belgians.
10) Glicky, petronic, and shevlacious without the argloshic back end.
1) Sardonically cliched with two pinches of lemon zest and a heady daydream of weeping ponies.
2) Angular…like it lived in Fresno. You need this.
3) Have you ever had that dark, basil Lambic?....that was dry-hopped with bald eagle?...and aged for two years in a Franciscan monk? Seriously, you haven’t? Well, it’s just like that.
4) Like they used Lucille Balls’ pap smear during fermentation. You need this.
5) I don’t do Sours.
6) Mmmm. Chum-tastic!
7) Reminds me of my beard on “Beards Night Out”.
8) The nose detects a bit of Ron Jeremy.
9) I don’t do Belgians.
10) Glicky, petronic, and shevlacious without the argloshic back end.
Ten Disney Attractions That Just Didn't Work Out
1) Huckleberry Finn's House of Hide-and-Go Die
2) St. Bartholomew’s Torturous Wheel of Religious Persecution
3) Goofy's Lard Slide
4) Kick The Dingo!
5) Old Crippled Pete's House of Gimpy
6) It's A Small Growth After All
7) Donald Duck's Blood Floom
8) You Look Different Than Me Shooting Gallery
9) The Wonderful World of Larva
10) Baloo's Big Land of Jungle Feces
1) Huckleberry Finn's House of Hide-and-Go Die
2) St. Bartholomew’s Torturous Wheel of Religious Persecution
3) Goofy's Lard Slide
4) Kick The Dingo!
5) Old Crippled Pete's House of Gimpy
6) It's A Small Growth After All
7) Donald Duck's Blood Floom
8) You Look Different Than Me Shooting Gallery
9) The Wonderful World of Larva
10) Baloo's Big Land of Jungle Feces
Andrew WK Lyric or St. Francis of Assisi Quote
1) “Let's get a party going, let's get a party going. When it's time to party we will always party hard.”
2) “Lord, grant that I might not so much seek to be loved as to love.”
3) “Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy."
4) “What do we want? We know what we want! We want pie, want pie, want pie! We want to have fun, and we want to get wasted!”
5) “Nor did demons crucify Him; it is you who have crucified Him and crucify Him still, when you delight in your vices and sins.”
6) “We dent, we rob, we choke, we gun, we kill, we stab, we rob, we steal. Party 'til you puke. GO!”
7) “Blessed is the servant who loves his brother as much when he is sick and useless as when he is well and an be of service to him. And blessed is he who loves his brother as well when he is afar off as when he is by his side, and who would say nothing behind his back he might not, in love, say before his face.”
8) “I want to have a party, I want to have a party, I want to have a party, I want to have a party.
You cannot kill the party.”
9) “My dear and beloved Brother, the treasure of blessed poverty is so very precious and divine that we are not worthy to possess it in our vile bodies. For poverty is that heavenly virtue by which all earthy and transitory things are trodden under foot, and by which every obstacle is removed from the soul so that it may freely enter into union with the eternal Lord God. It is also the virtue which makes the soul, while still here on earth, converse with the angels in Heaven.”
10) “I don't want to make life and I don't want to make death. I don't want to make love, I just want to make sex.”
1) “Let's get a party going, let's get a party going. When it's time to party we will always party hard.”
2) “Lord, grant that I might not so much seek to be loved as to love.”
3) “Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy."
4) “What do we want? We know what we want! We want pie, want pie, want pie! We want to have fun, and we want to get wasted!”
5) “Nor did demons crucify Him; it is you who have crucified Him and crucify Him still, when you delight in your vices and sins.”
6) “We dent, we rob, we choke, we gun, we kill, we stab, we rob, we steal. Party 'til you puke. GO!”
7) “Blessed is the servant who loves his brother as much when he is sick and useless as when he is well and an be of service to him. And blessed is he who loves his brother as well when he is afar off as when he is by his side, and who would say nothing behind his back he might not, in love, say before his face.”
8) “I want to have a party, I want to have a party, I want to have a party, I want to have a party.
You cannot kill the party.”
9) “My dear and beloved Brother, the treasure of blessed poverty is so very precious and divine that we are not worthy to possess it in our vile bodies. For poverty is that heavenly virtue by which all earthy and transitory things are trodden under foot, and by which every obstacle is removed from the soul so that it may freely enter into union with the eternal Lord God. It is also the virtue which makes the soul, while still here on earth, converse with the angels in Heaven.”
10) “I don't want to make life and I don't want to make death. I don't want to make love, I just want to make sex.”
Least Used Celebrity Weight Loss Programs
1) Whistle Away The Fat with Ariana Grande!
2) Guac 'n' Cock: Liberaces' Mexi-man Diet
3) One Of Those Kardashian Sister's Chuckin' Spuds diet (comes with 30 day supply of Ms. Kardashian's own instant 'Regurgi-tators')
4) Oprahs' At Home Liposuction Unit
5) One Month Mainline diet with Scott Weiland (comes with designer "tie-off" belt)
6) Orlando Blooms' "Punch Yourself Thin"
7) Dom DeLouises' "Ene-Magic Irrigation Bag"
8) Betty White’s Nude Lambada-thon; Grind Away The Girth!
9) Charleton Heston’s Death
10) Bob Costas’- Stop My Heart, I Want To Get Thin!
1) Whistle Away The Fat with Ariana Grande!
2) Guac 'n' Cock: Liberaces' Mexi-man Diet
3) One Of Those Kardashian Sister's Chuckin' Spuds diet (comes with 30 day supply of Ms. Kardashian's own instant 'Regurgi-tators')
4) Oprahs' At Home Liposuction Unit
5) One Month Mainline diet with Scott Weiland (comes with designer "tie-off" belt)
6) Orlando Blooms' "Punch Yourself Thin"
7) Dom DeLouises' "Ene-Magic Irrigation Bag"
8) Betty White’s Nude Lambada-thon; Grind Away The Girth!
9) Charleton Heston’s Death
10) Bob Costas’- Stop My Heart, I Want To Get Thin!
What Segments Didn’t Fill The Slot On ‘NPR That Bird Notes Did
1) Who’s Poo Are You?
2) Nasty Slimy Dirty Little Critters
3) Dateline Shut Up!
4) Eh, No Big Whoop with Tony Danza
5) Seriously Now,…What The Fuck Is That Noise?!?
6) Good Places For Squatting In The US of A
7) Hey There, Buddy!
8) Flan, Flan Who’s Got The Flan?
9) Will It Be Licked? with Tony Danza
10) Can We Fit It All In There?
11) Flotsam and Jetsam
12) Tony Danza Pokes Things With A Stick with Tony Danza
13) The Colin McEnroe Hop-Scotch Challenge
1) Who’s Poo Are You?
2) Nasty Slimy Dirty Little Critters
3) Dateline Shut Up!
4) Eh, No Big Whoop with Tony Danza
5) Seriously Now,…What The Fuck Is That Noise?!?
6) Good Places For Squatting In The US of A
7) Hey There, Buddy!
8) Flan, Flan Who’s Got The Flan?
9) Will It Be Licked? with Tony Danza
10) Can We Fit It All In There?
11) Flotsam and Jetsam
12) Tony Danza Pokes Things With A Stick with Tony Danza
13) The Colin McEnroe Hop-Scotch Challenge
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Reasoning For This Video From Russia Of The Lamb With The Human-like Face
1) The final exam project from the Animal Husbandry class at Kiev Community College. Grade? B+. 2) See? Do you see what happens when you let the gays buy pizza? 3) End-Of-Timers mascot named “Bippy”. 4) Thanks, Obama. 5) Gotcha! That’s just a sneak peak at the new costume Peter Gabriel will be sporting on the Genesis reunion/Lamb Lies Down On Broadway tour. 6) Jeff Dunham’s new puppet “Bippy”. 7) The lamb of God that takest away the sins of the…HOLY FUCK! 8) In America, people are like sheep. In Russia, sheep are like people. It’s so crazy! What a country! 9) What did I tell you about the gays and their pizza? Huh? 10) Leaked footage of Benedict Cumberbatch on the set of the Island Of Dr. Moreau re-boot. 11) New spokesman for the Anti- Mint Jelly Coalition. 12) Snippet from the trailer to the new Disney, live-action flick “Oh My God Would Somebody Please Kill Me”. |
The Next Movie Treatments Jeff Goldblum’s Agent Says Are Perfect For Him
1) After a man-made, RNA retro-virus escapes from a South American lab, it gets into the ecosystem and gives the piranha in the Amazon river the ability to walk and breathe on land. Jeff plays the quirky scientist that leads a research team into the jungle to try and stop the marauding, mutant fish.
2) Taking place in the mid-west, a small-town little league team welcomes a small alien from a far-away planet onto their team and into their hearts. The lovable little alien is soon the star pitcher for the team and leads the group of wise-cracking kids to the Little League World Series. But sinister government officials have other plans. Jeff plays the baseball coach, who is a quirky scientist.
3) The ancient city of Thebes is the setting of this amazing battle-flick. Ancient Theban warriors battle King Agesilaos and his Spartan warriors in the Battle of Koronea. Mediterranean soldiers attack each other in full, time-period glory; brandishing swords, spears, and shields in a spectacular CGI event of monumental proportions. Jeff plays the quirky scientist.
4) Napoleon.
1) After a man-made, RNA retro-virus escapes from a South American lab, it gets into the ecosystem and gives the piranha in the Amazon river the ability to walk and breathe on land. Jeff plays the quirky scientist that leads a research team into the jungle to try and stop the marauding, mutant fish.
2) Taking place in the mid-west, a small-town little league team welcomes a small alien from a far-away planet onto their team and into their hearts. The lovable little alien is soon the star pitcher for the team and leads the group of wise-cracking kids to the Little League World Series. But sinister government officials have other plans. Jeff plays the baseball coach, who is a quirky scientist.
3) The ancient city of Thebes is the setting of this amazing battle-flick. Ancient Theban warriors battle King Agesilaos and his Spartan warriors in the Battle of Koronea. Mediterranean soldiers attack each other in full, time-period glory; brandishing swords, spears, and shields in a spectacular CGI event of monumental proportions. Jeff plays the quirky scientist.
4) Napoleon.
The Next Blues Artists After Leadbelly To Be Released In The Smithsonian Folkways Series
1) "Blind Melon" Wedgie
2) "Chitterlin Foot" Williams
3) Terry "The Key Note Speaker" Thomas
4) Pappy Abromowitz
5) "Stinky Pants" Williamson
6) Tipsy, Tiny, Two-Toed Larry; The Crying-est Sous Chef That Ever Sang The Blues.
7) "Switch Hittin’" Jones
8) "Oven Mitts" Murphy
9) "dinky weiner" Johnson
10) "Skidmarks" Betterman
11) Officer Frank Poncharello
12) "Licky" McDaniels
13) "Blindy" McBlindyblind
14) Tommy "Tiny Bladder" Weinstein
1) "Blind Melon" Wedgie
2) "Chitterlin Foot" Williams
3) Terry "The Key Note Speaker" Thomas
4) Pappy Abromowitz
5) "Stinky Pants" Williamson
6) Tipsy, Tiny, Two-Toed Larry; The Crying-est Sous Chef That Ever Sang The Blues.
7) "Switch Hittin’" Jones
8) "Oven Mitts" Murphy
9) "dinky weiner" Johnson
10) "Skidmarks" Betterman
11) Officer Frank Poncharello
12) "Licky" McDaniels
13) "Blindy" McBlindyblind
14) Tommy "Tiny Bladder" Weinstein
Top Names Of Dogs Not In The Prestigious Westminster Dog Show.
1) Eddie Munster's Apalachian Comb-Over
2) Titanic Lana's Crippled Aunt From Peoria
3) Genghis Khan's Favorite Lavender
4) Choo-Choo Charlie's Administrative Panini
5) Nanny Nanny Boo Boo's Tea Cozy
6) Bull Fart's Tall Drink Of Water
7) Bouncing Molly's Amputated Labia
8) Owen Wilson's Swollen Goiter
9) Spanish Dave's Enema Of Chuckles
10) Yeast-y Mary's Leaky Chalupa
11) Mr. Belvedere's Tri-Town Package Of Death Fudge
12) Spot
13) Uncle Pee Pee's Dandruff
1) Eddie Munster's Apalachian Comb-Over
2) Titanic Lana's Crippled Aunt From Peoria
3) Genghis Khan's Favorite Lavender
4) Choo-Choo Charlie's Administrative Panini
5) Nanny Nanny Boo Boo's Tea Cozy
6) Bull Fart's Tall Drink Of Water
7) Bouncing Molly's Amputated Labia
8) Owen Wilson's Swollen Goiter
9) Spanish Dave's Enema Of Chuckles
10) Yeast-y Mary's Leaky Chalupa
11) Mr. Belvedere's Tri-Town Package Of Death Fudge
12) Spot
13) Uncle Pee Pee's Dandruff
Scents Passed Over For New York Yankee Cologne
1) The East River.
2) The delicate blend of industrial strength cleaning products, male desperation, and peep show booth come.
3) Burnt street pretzels and dirty asphalt.
4) Hey! Go fuck yourself!
5) Stale urine in the stairwell and sunflower seeds.
6) The saliva of everyone who lives in the state of Massachusetts 'cause the Red Sox suck my fuckin' dick!
7) Sweaty balls and just a hint of Ben Gay.
8) You hear me?!? The Red Sox suck my muthah fuckin' dick! Bam! Right here!
9) Musk.
10) Pride, history, honor, determination, and didn't I go to tell you to go fuck yourself?
1) The East River.
2) The delicate blend of industrial strength cleaning products, male desperation, and peep show booth come.
3) Burnt street pretzels and dirty asphalt.
4) Hey! Go fuck yourself!
5) Stale urine in the stairwell and sunflower seeds.
6) The saliva of everyone who lives in the state of Massachusetts 'cause the Red Sox suck my fuckin' dick!
7) Sweaty balls and just a hint of Ben Gay.
8) You hear me?!? The Red Sox suck my muthah fuckin' dick! Bam! Right here!
9) Musk.
10) Pride, history, honor, determination, and didn't I go to tell you to go fuck yourself?
